Weight Exercise and Body Image.
I was always very active as a child and teenager and in good shape. I played countless hours of volleyball, ran track, swam, danced, took Pilates, lifted weights etc. I enjoyed being active and my body benefited from the activities I took part in. I never had to struggle with weight gain or any of that jazz. I missed out on the stretch marks many young woman get during puberty and I wore the same jean size from middle school up until I had my first kid. My figure held up through a year away from home at college, living on Spaghettios and chicken nuggets. But that unfortunately was short lived.
When I got married I was in the best shape of my life. I had taken a semester of dance right before My husband I were married and was currently taking Pilates at the local college just days before I walked down the isle. A lot changed when I was married. I dropped out of college and worked both a full time and part time job. I didn't have time for school much less exercise. After I dropped out of school and quit taking Pilates and dance, I gained some weight probably about 5 pounds, not enough to kick me out of my skinny jeans, but enough for me to feel the difference when I tried to get them on.
Wedding Day (can I have those arms back?!!)
Wedding Day Oct 2009
at 32 weeks I started showing signs of toxemia and started retaining water and swelling like a balloon. I am not sure exactly; but I ended up gaining about 80lbs by the time I delivered my boys at just 34 weeks.
Due to all the complications and problems I had during my pregnancy I really just had to let any ideas of "body image" or "prevention" go to rest. I surrendered to the fact that I was not in control and what was happening to my body was not anything I would be able to change and that the body I once had could might as well be buried in the ground.
I swelled so bad the last few weeks of my pregnancy that I have stretch marks all down my legs clear to my calves, underneath my arms, back, and abdomen. Pretty much my fingers, toes and face were the only things spared. It was brutal. One minuet I was rocking my sexy size zero Zelda Jeans from Express and the next minuet I was so swollen I was resorting to hello kitty slippers as shoes and stopped wearing jeans all together.
at my baby shower the day before my boys were born
34.4 weeks with twinsI vividly remember sitting in the shower the day after my sons were born still in the hospital and looking at myself for the first time. I cried... It was hard to take in and even harder to even begin to think about how I would "fix" what had been done. The reality was that I babies who needed me
more than anything and I didn't have a lot of time to sit around and throw myself a pity party.
about 6 weeks post partum with the twins
I retained a large portion of my "baby weight" the first few months after my boys were born. But as soon as I hit that four month mark the weight began to just melt off. I lost all but 10 lbs. of my pre pregnancy weight and did nothing but eat healthy to get there. Just as soon as I had shed the weight I got pregnant with my daughter. Only 10 months after the my boys were born.
just a few weeks before I got Pregnant the 2nd time 9monts PP.
34 weeks pregnant with Scarlett (basically my largest point I only gained a few pounds after this picture was taken)
2 months PP
I am finally to the point where I am DONE! Done shying way from the mirror, done seeing myself in pictures and thinking oh my gosh I didn't realize I looked that bad! Done making excuses and ready to make a change.
8 months PP with Scarlett
-lose the rest of my baby weight
-drink a CRAP TON of WATER!
-Stop making Excueses
-be in the best shape of my life physically and spiritually
I think its important to not only make these physical changes but spiritual ones as well. I have seen a few ladies start this same process and their relationships have greatly suffered in the process. Thankfully my husband will be embarking on this challenge with me which I think will make all the difference.
So that is it for now I will check back as I see fit but wont be making daily posts or food journals or any think like that. Nor will I be taking daily selfies at the gym or wearing string bikinis! That is not me nor will it ever be ! If I have a moment of delusion and do any of the above some one please slap me! HARD!!
UPDATE: I wrote this earlier this week and I have to admit there were a few times I thought ehh.. I'll just wait. Fortunately a bigger part of me was motivated to start this process and get the ball rolling. My husband and I took a trip to Costco and stocked up on all the ingredients we would need for the next two weeks and by the time I woke up this morning it wasn't even a question if was going to start making this change.
I worked out for the first time today in over a year.. and I felt like a wanted to puke! Thank you Jillian Michaels for kicking my butt! I followed all the instructions for day one of the Paleo Diet Challenge but substituted a few of my snacks for other fruits all of which were listed on the Paleo Diet Food list I
This weight would get me back to my pre pregnancy weight. 5 more would put me back in my wedding dress. I am hoping that in a few months I will be able to slip that beauty back on just for fun!
That is it for now. If this is not your thing and you are just here for craftiness no worries there will be plenty more of that and you can just skip right on past this post!